Pricing
Pay us money to make bad decisions faster
Cheap Bastard
For the financially cautious decision-maker
- 5 req/min — LLM-powered APIs
- Unlimited — deterministic APIs
- Clippy judges you silently
- Support: Stack Overflow, probably
- Rate limit error messages are passive-aggressive
No credit card required. We trust you. Mistake #1.
Poor Life Choices
You looked at these APIs and thought "I should pay for this"
- 20 req/min — LLM-powered APIs
- Unlimited — deterministic APIs
- Clippy judges you out loud
- Email support (we'll read it eventually)
- Rate limit error messages are encouraging
- API key with your name on it
$48 billed annually
Professionally Unhinged
For when "why not" becomes a business strategy
- 60 req/min — LLM-powered APIs
- Unlimited — deterministic APIs
- Priority Clippy (faster, not better)
- Email support (we'll read it this week)
- Rate limit error messages contain life advice
- API usage dashboard
- Webhook notifications (for when you've gone too far)
$108 billed annually
Somebody Else's Budget
For when the expense report goes to a department you've never heard of
- Unlimited — all APIs, no rate limits
- Dedicated Clippy instance
- SLA (Suspiciously Lenient Agreement)
- Custom stupidity levels
- SOC 2 compliant (we think)
- Diane from The Committee will personally dissent on your behalf
- Your logo on our refrigerator
- We will attend one meeting per quarter and tell you it could have been an email
$4,188 billed annually
Pricing FAQ
Why would I pay for this?
Excellent question. We've consulted our Startup Oracle and it says your judgment is "questionable but not unprecedented." The paid tiers give you higher rate limits for LLM-powered APIs. Whether that's worth money is between you and your accountant.
Can I expense this?
The Somebody Else's Budget tier was specifically designed for corporate expense reports. List it under "Developer Tooling" or "Innovation R&D." Both are technically accurate and neither will be questioned.
What happens if I hit the rate limit?
You'll get a 429 Too Many Requests response. On the free tier, the error message is passive-aggressive. On paid tiers, it's encouraging. On Enterprise, it never happens because nothing has limits when you're on Somebody Else's Budget.
Do you offer refunds?
If our APIs give you bad advice that you follow, that's on you. If they give you bad advice that you don't follow, you didn't need us. Either way, no refunds. Yes refunds. We offer full refunds within 30 days, no questions asked. We will, however, silently judge.
What's the SLA?
Our Suspiciously Lenient Agreement guarantees 99.9% uptime. The 0.1% is when Gerald from The Committee accidentally unplugs something. If we miss the SLA, we'll credit you the equivalent in Clippy motivational quotes.
Is the Enterprise tier real?
As real as anything else here. You will get unlimited requests. Diane will dissent. Your logo will go on our refrigerator. We keep our promises. Even the stupid ones. Especially the stupid ones.
